important to remember ❤
Source: Parenting Through Triggers
This conscious parenting seems like very hard work at times. Considering our words and actions before responding, rather than reacting, yelling, nagging, which does feel like the easy way in the thick of the intense parenting moments.
When we react, we are not usually heard by them, and we may even be breaking their spirit. We may be encouraging them to become people pleasers, to become dis-empowered in life.
We are reacting out of fear, and sometimes habit. We could be actually programmed to react a certain way. How many times do you say something to your kids and realize it’s exactly what you heard as a kid?
Conscious parenting demands that we be uber aware of our wounded inner child that needs some love and healing. Not to say we’ve all been wounded by our pasts in huge ways, but our perception of life’s experiences when we are kids is a bit more vulnerable than they likely are now, and ended up shaping us, some way or another. Those old issues may be buried and then triggered by heated mama (or daddy!) moments.
Our kids do tend to bring out the worst in us at times. Certain behaviors are not because they are bad, they are simply teaching moments for us. We are to be seeing the bigger picture – the whys, and where it’s all coming from. The kids are just being themselves, innocent and wild and free, we are the ones with the issues. These triggers provide us with opportunities to respond in a more loving enlightened way.
Our parents parented us with the dents that they were parented with, and so on and so on, nobody has ever been perfect, and parenting consciously isn’t about being a perfect parent. OMGoodness, imagine the pressure to put yourself under to do everything right! Think of the generations before us, the ‘kids are to be seen, not heard’, the ‘do as I say, not as I do’, the ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’, the ‘stop crying’, the ‘because I said so’. Looking at it now, what a bunch of BS that was! But it was normal. Totally hypocritical, but it was just the way it was. And most of us complied, or we suffered a consequence. But hey guess what, from a compassionate point, our previous generations came by this honestly. They are not to blame, neither are the parents that parented them. They came down a line of hearing that same old stuff.
Now let’s drop the past, and be here now. Times have changed!
What WE ARE HERE FOR NOW is to break those old cycles of domination-style parenting. We have evolved, as have our kids, in the spiritual sense, therefore outdated parenting must go as well. We are a generation of parents who are doing this parenting thing much much differently. We are pretty awesome actually, but of course we still make mistakes, again, learning opportunities.
We are teaching compassion, we listen to our kids, really hear them. We encourage their free speech, their expression of emotion. We want them coloring outside of the lines, thinking outside of the box. We don’t want them to sit still look pretty, we want to let them be free to dance, wiggle, squirm, create, be their authentic selves.
But honestly, because of how we’ve been wired from our own upbringings, that behavior embarrasses us sometimes, when they have messy hair and they just don’t care, they wear mismatched clothes, they stand and wiggle at the dinner table, or they simply won’t hug or say hi to the family members that love them but they don’t jive with. Really what’s important here? That they comply to fit, for approval from others? Or that they grow up happy, free and authentic.
My goodness there are way too many people pleasers, followers, unhappy individuals out there, I think it’s time we make a change. It starts with us, and them, our beautiful magical children. Do you think you have it in you?! I believe you do! We’re in this together. ❤
The Elf on the Shelf, what a blast the first year was! 3 years ago we invited this new age holiday creature into our lives. The first year, we had so many epic staged scenes. Spa days with barbies, marshmallow ‘bubble baths’ in the sink, sneaking cookies from the cookie jar, sipping maple syrup in the fridge…Oh what fun it was to have her around.
Second year, we had a puppy. The staging possibilities were now limited, because heaven forbid the dog got a hold of the elf and she lost her magic! So we had to keep the elf up high, in out-of-reach spots. My oldest made a comment at one point that Ivy (our Elf) appeared to be running out of ideas! Yes, “the elf” was running out of ideas, she was stressed every night about what to do next to keep up with the standard of entertainment the first year set. We were bored of it, and dreading getting caught moving her at night by the ever-so-clever eldest.
It got to the point where our youngest was excited to see where the elf was each morning, but was terrified to come out of her room to find her, in case the elf was creeping somewhere, watching her. She would be afraid at night too. This elf started out in fun and good intentions, was now a source of fear in our home. Isla (just turned 7) was worried the elf would watch her at night, or she would wake up and the elf would be in her room. She would have friends over for the night and they would freak each other out about the elf. “I think her eyes just moved! Did you see her blink? I think I heard something! What if she comes in here at night!?!”
I decided to call it quits. Not totally, we would still hide her around and play with her and try to get creative with her BUT, fear isn’t cool. And my integrity was getting diminished with each lie I told about it. For a little girl to be afraid of a stuffed elf that in essence is to be watching and reporting on behavior. This just doesn’t resonate with me. Where is the magic vibe of Christmas in all this?
Evi, our oldest, has known the truth for quite a while now, and she’s been having fun helping out. But we decided to tell Isla that our elf wasn’t real. It’s us having fun. It’s now that we realize there’s no fun if anyone is scared. Fear is a very low vibration. We tend to prefer our frequencies to be high in our home. If you know me and what I do for a living, I operate on a high level of unconditional love, which is the opposite of fear. I teach people how to live their best life, overcoming fear! It just doesn’t make any sense to us anymore. It’s just not for us. I definitely don’t judge anyone for keeping up with this modern tradition. To each their own. But I do feel strongly that instilling fear to address behavior is not the answer. I also feel strongly that if a child is starting to sense the truth about Santa and other funny stuff we have traditionally gone along with, then it’s time to fess up. There are many great ways to do it so we don’t traumatize them. And there are many great ways to celebrate the holidays without making it all about the big guy and his ‘employees’.
So when we pack up Christmas this year and put it all away, the elf on the shelf will get tucked away and will maybe come back next year, or maybe we will donate it and move on. It will be up to the kids.
Have an exceptionally loving holiday! Thanks for reading!
There are so many ways to define this, and I’m not fan of labels. I’ll do my best to describe it. A new spiritual breed of children are upon us, and exciting for us, they are being born to us! Yay! They have a high vibrational energy, they exude love, and they have big beautiful magnetic eyes that see right into your soul. You feel emotions move within you when you look at them. They are like little human lie detectors and they will see right through you if you are not in integrity. They won’t let you into their space if your heart isn’t open. They will inspire your heart to open.
They are forgiving and they love unconditionally. Their high vibrational frequency requires a certain type of lifestyle and nourishment, they are naturally connected to nature and animals.
They naturally are uninterested in eating meat, harsh situations, loud abrasive noises, and crowds. They feel/see/hear/know more than the average person can even understand. These kids are highly intuitive (AKA psychic). They have energy that needs freedom and wide open spaces to explore, learn, and exercise.
They will develop chronic health problems if fed unnatural foods as they are sensitive to artificial colors, chemicals, etc. They are commonly labeled with disorders because they don’t fit in to society’s ‘norm’. They might not thrive in a typical school system.
These are the powerful awesome kids that are here to bring the planet back to love, to raise the frequency here. We are the people here to make it safe for them to do their work. We are their parents, we are accountable for allowing them to be free to be themselves while they fill our hearts and fulfill their purposes. The fact that they chose us, should make us grateful. They need us to parent them consciously.
I encourage you to search out info on Indigo children, Crystal Children and Rainbow Children – Doreen Virtue has some interesting information out there about them to help you better understand. So fascinating! So much more to come!
What works for one kid, will not necessarily work for another. I have two kids, they are very different. I am grateful they have chosen me to be their mother this time around. I am grateful for their unconditional love and also for the challenges they bring into my life. I am grateful for the healing they also inspire for me in my own life.
My first born, Evi, she’s so much like me, I can relate, she’s wise, empowered, intelligent, and entrepreneurial, things come easy, she’s a self-proclaimed “Master Manifester”. She gets what she wants and can make things happen. She is likely going to lead her generation to a great place in this world. She’s 11 and I see all this.
My second born, Isla, almost 7, she’s my firecracker. She’s got an awesome wild fire inside her and we are all learning how to nourish that fire. We know big things are in the works for a girl with a personality like hers. She’s determined, she doesn’t take no for an answer, she’s a messy room/face/hair – don’t care kind of girl. Free spirit is putting it mildly. She’s also very delicate and sensitive. Which is where I feel like I struggle to understand how to best maneuver this as a parent. I can’t recall ever feeling delicate in my life, this is a new feature for me. I want to empower the crap out of her but doing it gently and strategically never occurred to me. This is a new challenge, and a challenge I accept!
I am so freakishly proud of my two little freaks. I call them freaks with love. I encourage them to be different. Normal is boring and is for followers. The world needs more quality leaders. My work is in personal empowerment. I am empowered and since they are branches off my mama tree, I believe them to be too!
Posts in this blog will be directly related to my experiences with my own children but also just insights often inspired by issues in the world, things I have seen, conversations I have had, or overheard, whatever comes up, whatever flows out.
For as long as I have had an interest in oracle cards, I would always get the message that my life purpose involved working with and helping the Indigo and Crystal Children. I never knew how I would do that, other than parenting my own. It’s been slowly revealing the signs over time. First come my own kids, then I found myself teaching a kids Reiki class, next I created a Kids Inner Wellness class, then I started writing a kids book to empower them on how to keep their magic. I even went out of my comfort zone and bravely lead an empowering magical kids summer program in the forest…where the snakes are!!
The conversations I had with those magical kids were so inspiring, but, it occurred to me that my kids discuss this type of living all the time, they are lead by me on a daily basis, not all adults are in the loop when it comes to how to work with the new spiritual breed of children (I will discuss this more in depth later). These magical kids hung onto every word I said, with interest and inner knowing. We talked about crystals, the power of our thoughts, connecting to nature, intuition, spirit and more. I realized that there’s a possibility their parents simply don’t have that same understanding. I realized that, it was time to actually inspire and work with the parents before going any further with the children’s work because it’s the parents that need the messages, the kids already know! The parents can be a huge help to keep these kids on their magical paths, keep them in line with their true authentic purpose.
I had to get to the point where I just didn’t give a hoot what others think. I am completely aware that this revelation and revolution is going to have some backlash from the set in their ways types. Every parent gets their back up a bit when they’re parenting style gets challenged. That’s cool. I mean no disrespect to others and understand there is a world of other options out there, and of course, parenting each child is not a one size fits all type of process. Take this or leave it. It’s my spiritual perspective. I can only trust that what’s meant to be absorbed by my readers, will, and the rest, just move on, no biggie. I love and honor myself, and let spirit work through me on this one. Trust me, this is not info coming from me, Stephanie Forgues, no no, that’s much to heavy a responsibility for a lone human, I have the drive and the passion of course but I get out of the way and I let my intuition guide me, my divine guidance, my spiritual frequency, so many names for it. This wisdom doesn’t come from me alone, my friends. I am a Spiritual Intuitive. Meaning, I am comfortable (finally!) with listening and acting on my intuitive guidance. So there you have it. Don’t shoot the messenger!
Welcome! I’m Stephanie Forgues, Spiritual Intuitive, and Mama of 2 magical kids, Evianne (Evi) 11 years old, and Isla (6).
This blog is a new venture for me! It is simply me answering a calling to be an advocate of change in the world. It all starts with how we parent the new kids and honor the little beings that we are guiding…and healing ourselves in the process!
In my line of work, many years practicing Intuitive Reiki and personally empowering people to unveil their true authentic selves to live their best lives, ( My biz – New Leaf Wellness) I have seen many grownups who feel lost, confused, a lack of purpose, lack of self-worth, self-love, and/or they are physically ill. From what I have intuited and discussed with these clients, is that most of the ‘issues in their tissues’ and blocks to their peace and happiness come from events from their childhood, their upbringing, the old school parenting techniques, the thought viruses that have been planted, the don’t speak unless spoken to, the spanking, the fears.
It’s been a mission of mine to learn to be a more conscious parent, for the sake of world peace. No pressure on myself there. I am definitely not a perfect parent. I don’t claim to be a parenting expert, I make mistakes too, but I do have an inner guidance system, I am super tight with my intuition, and I have never been more passionate about anything else in my life than I am about getting things right for my kids and raising empowered, responsible, kind, compassionate, courageous adults to set off into the world.
I’m here to share my passion with you, give you some relate-able parenting info, provide a spiritual perspective to the many challenges we face as parents, and more. Stay with me, I’m super excited you’re here! We’re in this together!